Our judgments of others and our speech should follow the standard of Christ’s charity–which is due to all those created in the image and likeness of God. God commands us to think kindly of others.
Jesus said: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgement you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:1-4).
Kindness, a fruit of the Holy Spirit, is an essential virtue for our Christian lives. Its essence is the strength of our self-control and the conquest of our egoism, especially within our family. Its object is the giving of ourselves to others. This interior disposition inclines us to think kindly of others, to wish them well, and to do good.
The basis of love is kind thinking. Kindness excludes any malicious and suspicious thoughts–thoughts which ascribe evil intentions and vicious purposes to others, or thoughts which interpret unjustly as evil the gestures, actions, words and even silence of others.
Truthfulness is also an important virtue in which one is true in deeds, truthful in speech, and guards against insincerity (hypocrisy), pretense, and deliberate deceptiveness. When we speak of our neighbors, what we say must be ruled by charity and prudence. The sin of uncharitable speech is a vicious destroyer of internal unity within any family. It violates truth, justice, and love. Our Lord’s new law of love demands that we avoid not only bodily injury to our neighbor, but also angry, uncharitable words and feelings against him.